Its about making memories worth repressing
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
