I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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