just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
