whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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