Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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