Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
