I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
