it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
