I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
