Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
