I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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