He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
