I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
