I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
