my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
