It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
