My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
