Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
