new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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