Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize