Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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