Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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