i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
