ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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