C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize