Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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