My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
