I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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