It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
