Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
