That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
