It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
