No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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