She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
