Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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