Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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