hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dear god my vagina.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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