I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
