Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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