If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
