I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
