I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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