she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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