They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize