I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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