If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
