i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
