Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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