The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
