We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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