what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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