Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
