Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
