He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
