don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
