The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
