Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
