All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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