gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
