I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
