No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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