Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
