If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
