i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
