Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
