doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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