in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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