it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
