What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
