I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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