literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
