I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
