remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
