I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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