When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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