I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
