But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
