Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
