what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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