i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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