i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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