I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
