I think I died a long time ago.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
