Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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