halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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