And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
