Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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