Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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